Monday, February 11, 2013

Little Acts of Love - Traditions

Chocolate Dipped Strawberries are beautiful to look at and sweet and juicy to eat.  They are very easy to make, and so impressive looking.  I made these for a little treat for Valentine's Day.  At the grocery store each chocolate dipped strawberry delicacy cost $1.00 each.  Instead, a bought a box of 20 strawberries and some dipping chocolate and made the whole box for less than 30 cents each. This has been my Valentine's tradition for many years.
But that is not what I was intending to write about today.  In 1992 Dr. Gary Chapman wrote a book called "The Five Love Languages".  According to Dr. Chapman each person has a main way of giving and receiving love.   Here are the five he writes about:

1.  Words of affirmation
     If this is your love language words are more important than actions.  Just saying "I love you" means more than any material thing.  A compliment or spoken words of appreciation will make this person's day.

2.  Quality Time
     The most important thing to this person is spending time together with attention focused completely on each other.  People who value this quality time value listening skills and also feel it's important to be listened to.

3.  Receiving Gifts
     The thought behind the gift is what is most important to this person.  For this person holiday gift giving is very important.  An unexpected gift is appreciated more than anything.

4.  Acts of Service
     If you are this type of person, having a chore taken off of your hands is a more powerful gift that an "I love you".  It has nothing to do with laziness, but an appreciation on the value in another person doing something that the other does not want to do, like doing dishes or laundry, simply out of love.

5.  Physical Touch
     No words or gifts need to be exchanged.  If physical touch is your love language, all you need is a little tenderness.

     Of course the book goes in to much more detail.  

     I have a friend whose love language is quality time.  Her husband's love language is acts of service, so a good date for them is to go to Home Depot together, so they can pick out a new thing for their home (a light fixture, a ceiling fan, or 100 other options), and then they go home and he installs it for her.  Everyone wins!  I have another friend who loves giving gifts.  When she gives me something I used to feel guilty because I am not a big gift giver.  Even though she likes to give gifts her love language that she likes to receive is quality time.  It gets complicated.  Sometimes you may just have to have a conversation so you can better understand the people you love and they can better understand you.
     Here is your challenge, in order for our relationships to be as rewarding as possible, think about the people in your life and what their love language is. Try loving someone in their love language and see what happens.  You might be surprised, and it may even spark some new traditions for you and your family.


  1. I forgot all about this book. I'll have to give this some thought in planning out my Valentine's Day schemes...hmm...

  2. I have been thinking about how I love each of my family members and how they are so different in what they crave...some I am good at, and others I need to make an effort. Thanks for this loving challenge!